Aching

Does the ache inside ever get easier?
Does the ache ever go away?
My life justs seems to get messier,
To God I constantly pray.

The ache is still so fresh,
My thoughts have just changed,
Once I thought I was blessed,
Made to feel so ashamed.

My baby son I wasn't to have,
A sweet innocent little child,
My ache was new my life a farce,
No wonder I went a bit wild.

The years flew by and I hid my ache,
Smiling on the outside hurting inside,
Getting married wanting my life to shape,
No more babies for me I cried.

We are growing old and happy together,
Accepting that children aren't in our lives,
Would having children made our lives better,
We don't know but are happy to be alive.

My son and I are reunited together,
But the ache is still there for me to feel,
I love him even more than ever,
My ache will always be there to feel.

Philippa Hope-Hornsey